This blog was born of my broken vagina but I am more than my pussy dammit! However, I'm going to do just this last post to quench Saffron's thirst about by smashed cunt. (Oh so many wonderful expressions to describe my conditions)
On another post about my giney she asked the following:
"Was the crying sad tears? Or tears of laughter? And how was it repaired? Did Boy get blue balls? How did he recover? This is just so interesting. Can I write a book about broken vaginas? Bride & Krispy Kitchen, you in?"
And here are the answers:
-NO THEY WERE NOT TEARS OF LAUGHTER. I HAD JUST BURST A FREAKING BLOOD VESSEL IN THE MOST SENSITIVE PART OF MY BODY WHILE TRYING TO GET OFF. It's the most painful thing I have ever been through and to top it off my vag was swelling at a rate of metres per second and I had no idea what was happening. So, they were tears of pain and being afraid and the other people in the room (my flatmates and the old man whose fault this all is) were all upset because I was in loads of pain and we didn't know what was happening.
- It's being repaired by me lying in bed all day reading books, surfing the net and knocking myself out with pain killers. Apparently it will go away by itself.
- I actually asked the boy if he got blue balls and he said his mind was elsewhere at the time and if he did he didn't notice. Which means he was so worried about me he was going to die and wouldn't have noticed if someone shot him with a bazooka. Isn't that lame?
- And of course you can write the book, let's set the interviews up over a series of wines and beers at Monica's new house with Rick in attendance.
Remember kids, if you have pre-marital sex Jesus will smite you. Smite you good.
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Haha, I feel so priviliged! A post, just for me! It feels like Christmas.
ReplyDeleteWell the answers were terrific thank you, but I have many more which I will not bother you with over the blogosphere, because this thread would last for eternity and we may one day get sick of talking about gineys. I will however be the first to line up those interviews the next time I'm in town. I'M SO EXCITED.
It's going to be a best-seller.
Bahahahhaha SMITE YOU GOOD!
ReplyDeleteIt's Phily's revenge lol
Bridie, I'm not sure if you're familiar with the section on my blog entitled Quote of the Day? I believe it is your turn to be featured. I particular like the one on Rick's blog today, whereby you refer to the frozen veggies on your vagina. Can you please elaborate on this, or perhaps make a unique one especially for me? It would be greatly appreciated.
ReplyDeleteYours truly,
Saffy Boots.
Oh oh! Featured in quote of the day? Little me? I'm afraid the frozen vegies on my vag are actually not that interesting, I needed to start icing my vag because of the extreme swelling and I had some old frozen vegies in the freezer so voila! My ice pack!
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD. I AM TOTALLY GOING TO SEND YOU A PICTURE OF MY PURPLE AND SWOLLEN VAG. Hhahaha! Right now, to your phone, you're not going to know what hit you.
Also you can use the vegie vag quote.
It's a little late, but it's there now. Stupid mail didn't inform me you had replied! WTF.
ReplyDeleteI think it's added a little bit of love to my site.